I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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