I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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