He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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