Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
