Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
