my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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