Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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