she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
