Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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