yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize