I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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