His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
