Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
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Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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