Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
