He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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