is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
