Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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