RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
