he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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