I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
