like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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