yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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