hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
