O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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