$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
