If that was your dad, he is hot
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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