is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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