college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
