Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
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It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
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He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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