ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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