were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
