Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
