U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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