Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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