He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
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I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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