we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
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Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
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I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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