We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I look better un-naked...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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