i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
