Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
