My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
