after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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