thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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