Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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