What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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