i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize