Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Drunk is a universal language darling
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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