You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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