My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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