his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
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she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
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next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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