I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I need water and some morals
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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