Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
