Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
