I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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