He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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