Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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