Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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