At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
