There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
