Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room