from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.